Have you ever missed your “ex-job”?

Few days ago I`ve read a stupid joke: “When a workaholic gets drunk he texts his ex-employers”.

Could be fun.

But I did the same. And I wasn`t even drunk. That annoyes me. No. That pisses me off.

I texted to my ex-boss that I miss the job.

Why the hell do I do this…?


When The Sun Goes Down

The sunset is a daily disappearance of the sun below the horizon. The Setting of the sun. In Russian we also use this word – Setting.

Turkish people say “güneş batar” which means that the sun goes under….Under the water. The sun dives into the sea.

What a great metaphor. Isn’t it?

Unconditional love

No… Please. Don`t do it.

Please don`t send me your messages anymore. Never. Just don`t do it.

Just don`t ruin my life again. Just don`t tear my world apart again. It takes too long to recover, it takes too long to become sober. It takes too long to forget…and then you send your goddamned messages again.

I hate your messages even though they make me smile.I hate your messages even though I find your sense of humor the best one in the world. I hate all the great moments we shared. Coz they don`t make me happy anymore… they just make my eyes wet. Coz there is nothing but your messages anymore.

I hate your messages even though I melt deep inside…I hate your messages for touching my unhealed wounds.

I hate you for popping up into my life when I barely feel alive…

I hate it when I forget the world while sending my reply to you.

I hate it when your reply is damn too short.

I hate it when I stare at the ceiling in the middle of the night waiting for your reply.

I hate it when there`s no reply from you.

And I hate myself for being so stupid to believe there`s a little hope that one day you`ll knock at my door.

Just like I did.

Being lonely

Being lonely is having no plans for weekend.

Being lonely is having one toothbrush in your bathroom.

Being lonely is working hard and working late…coz you have nowhere to go after.

Being lonely is buing small bottle of milk because the big ones always goes sour before you drink it.

Being lonely is earning good money and having nobody to spend it with (on).Read More »

Being adult vs. Being yourself

Im 25.

25 isnt really much… is it?

When is it time to become / to feel completely adult? What does it mean to be completely adult?

Im not talking about alcohol, sex, smoking weed or cigarettes and etc…

Im 25. I have my (goddamn!) degree in law. I don’t work as lawyer for few years. I don’t take any financial aid from family. I have a job. I pay my bills,my food, my travel, my shopping… everything.

And I don’t feel I’m ADULT. What does it mean to be an adult?

I love doing crazy things, I love my hakuna matata lifestyle, I love being unattached. I love to live MY life. It is My Life. The only one given to me by God.

Falling in love at first sight? Staying awake all night long? No sleep for few days? Making campfire on the beach? Buying one-way ticket? Smoking shisha all night long? Walking on the empty night streets? Acting on the stage? Wearing awkward costumes and make up? Climbing a mountain? Drinking rum&cola till the sunrise?

That’s me. That’s how I live my life. Am I adult or …?

It is such a strange thing to be adult. Especially here in Russia. If you are married and have kids – yep, you are officially adult even though you still get money from parents. If you are 20-25 years old – you Must get married.

Does getting married and having kids make you adult? Does having a robotic boring job (the one you literally hate) make you adult?

if yes, I don’t wanna be adult. Not now.

I prefer to be young and wild and free.

Freedom is priceless. Freedom of social petterns and stereotypes.

P.S. Just Be Yourself.